“Lessons from Executive Coaches: Why You Need One” Marianne Lepre-Nolan, PCC and Leah D. Houde, Ph.D.
Coaching as a concept has been around for thousands of years, and at its most basic definition refers to a relationship where one individual is in some way training or instructing another toward an outcome, usually improved skill or performance. However, the notion of executive coaching is a relatively recent phenomenon, first appearing in the management literature in the 1950s as a way to develop employees through apprenticeship-type relationships[1], expanding in the 1960s as part of the Human Potential Movement,[2] and gaining broader popularity in the 1980s[3]. In fact, the field continues to grow with total global revenue from coaching in 2019 estimated at over $2.8B, a 21% increase over 2015[4]. So, what is all the buzz about?
The International Coaching Federation defines executive coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity, and leadership.” Executive coaching has already made its way beyond the boardroom into the clinic; one study found that physicians who receive executive coaching covering topics like professional fulfillment, leadership development, improving efficiency, self-care, cultivating community, and integrating personal and professional life has helped alleviate burnout.[5]
Many organizations emphasize the importance of coaching for employees’ career progression and often put formal programs in place to match individuals with “coaches.” In this instance, however, we suggest that these organizations are creating mentorship relationships – where an experienced guide gives advice to less experienced individuals based on what worked well in their own careers. At its most effective, the mentor takes into consideration a mentee’s context and aspirations, but at its heart, mentoring is an advisory relationship.
Executive coaching, differentiated from mentoring, is about helping individuals identify goals they’d like to achieve and then discover the most effective path to take to achieve those goals. A coaching colleague of ours uses a metaphor to describe it: imagine you’re in a boat traveling down a river you’ve never traveled on before, and it’s dark. A mentor would tell you which way to steer based on having traveled this river extensively . A coach would hold a lantern up in the bow of the boat to illuminate the river so that you could see what lies ahead and which path you’d like to take. Coaches use a disciplined approach that enables their coachees to uncover both why they are getting their current results, as well as stimulates how the coachee can use new ideas to achieve different results in the future. Notwithstanding that coaches often help their coachees see new possibilities, the process is about reflection and self-discovery rather than advising or even skill building (which falls into the realm of performance coaching).
Mindsets that affect coaching
Individuals seek out executive coaching for many reasons, and while anyone can benefit from it, there are some mindsets that are more conducive to progress than others. We like to think about motivation for being coached along two axis: Urgency and Willingness. Let’s explore all the combinations.
Figure A
Willingness
Urgency | |
Begrudging |
Total engagement |
Apathetic |
Transformational growth |
Low Urgency / Low Willingness - Apathetic.
Unfortunately, this is often someone who has been “assigned” coaching as a final attempt to keep them at an organization when performance has degraded. These people often show up in coaching conversations as surly, possibly even angry and can even be apathetic about keeping their jobs. Often, they feel “wronged” by the organization, possibly having been passed over for promotions or with erroneous beliefs about why others get ahead and they don’t move forward in their careers. Sometimes these are individuals who are close to retirement and have lost the spark to deliver high performance, and sometimes they are on performance plans where the organization believes it needs to make one final attempt at turning things around before firing them. Whatever the case, these individuals need an experienced executive coach to help them find possibility past the walls they have erected around themselves, and it is not unusual for these individuals to make little progress through a coaching experience.
High Urgency / Low Willingness - Begrudging
These are individuals who wake up one morning and realize that their career has stalled or is even disintegrating and often they really don't know why. Maybe they have been doing the same things they have always done, but the competencies that made them brilliant five years ago may actually work against them now. Or perhaps they are overusing a strength constantly and in situations where it’s inappropriate and it has become a liability. Often below the surface they sense something is “off,” or they may actively recognize something is very wrong! Or, perhaps they have been approached to be down-leveled or conversely have been given more responsibility but applied the old tools unsuccessfully. Their challenge is they can't figure out what to do, or they keep doing the wrong things. Anxiety may underpin their days - and many nights. They come to coaching begrudgingly because it might be the only answer to keep their job or to get themselves out of malaise.
High Urgency / High Willingness – Total Engagement
We find lots of energy here! These individuals typically seek out coaching for themselves though some have coaching suggested for them, but even these ‘nudged’ folks are excited about what they can gain from the coaching experience. Perhaps they have a new project, or maybe they are launching a new endeavor. Many are entrepreneurial and are highly motivated, often looking for someone with whom to test their thinking and their approaches to new challenges or contexts. Our biggest challenge as coaches with these individuals is keeping things focused, as conversations are almost raucous with possibilities. The vast majority of these interactions reap fruitful outcomes as the individual's energy, time, and efforts are fully engaged.
Low Urgency / High Willingness – Transformational Growth
These are some of our favorite coaching interactions. These coachees are often people who have experienced coaching or have a long-time relationship with a coach. There is a free form and sweeping nature to the conversations. Transformation is in the air - there is a sense of movement but there may be no particular goal or project. Sometimes, people in this box are looking ahead to a different time of life, maybe maternity leave will happen at some point, or a second career is being planned in parallel with the current career. Retirement from the work that has been done most of a person's life may be on the horizon, and they want to brainstorm about what's next. Maybe someone wants to "play" with a new skill or test a competency that heretofore has not been needed in their current work. These kinds of conversations can also take place on retreats or off-site meetings where introspection is part of the experience. Whatever the case, even while there isn’t a pressing goal or vision of the future being activated, often these relationships result in quantum leaps for coachees as they openly explore possibilities for new and exciting futures.
The value of data in coaching
Regardless of a person’s motivation to be coached, the process is a reflective one where coachees are supported by their coaches through a process of self-discovery. In his bestseller The Soul's Code, James Hillman proposed that our calling in life is in-born and that it's our mission to realize its imperatives over the course of our lives. His “acorn theory” suggests that implanted within everyone is a unique and innate image that “forms our most essential character, and gives us our sense of calling in life, forms our most essential character, and gives us the particularity we feel about ourselves.”[1]
So, when is the right time to hold up the mirror and try and use the reflected light to identify that particularity and learn more scientifically your strengths, weaknesses, and motivations? Typically, when you are motivated to do so! For someone who is approaching coaching with keen interest or even outright zeal, marked by a desire for growth and transformation (see figure A,) the right psychometric inventory can provide information that is revelatory. At the most basic level, an assessment can provide a client and coach with a common vocabulary and references for inflection points in compelling conversations. As well, assessments can provide coach and client with insights into patterns of behavior both personally and within organizations. For example, if a client has low scores in patience, tact, self-awareness, and self-restraint with high scores in verbal acuity, assertiveness, self-expression, and decisiveness, they might be unintentionally brusque and may be leaving trails of unmotivated, hurt and confused colleagues in their wake without even realizing their effect.
We all have Achilles’ heels, and it’s optimum to use an assessment to understand why we might be resistant to change before effectively engaging in coaching. An Achilles’ heel is an apt metaphor – the term describes a weakness in spite of overall strength, which can lead to a downfall. For a coaching candidate, assessments may indeed bring to light exactly where they have both strengths and blind spots.
Lessons from the field
With an understanding of what executive coaching is and some of the components that make it a successful endeavor, you may be asking yourself, “how might this help me?” It may be illuminating to read about coaching that your authors have engaged in to see how it actually plays out in real time. In our final section we share some stories from our own coaching practices to help illustrate how these ideas can come to life in practice. Perhaps you’ll see yourself in one of the vignettes.
Lesson one: Denial is a derailer.
Jim wanted one thing: a promotion to what in professional services firms is known as Managing Director (MD). He hired me as his coach to learn what criteria his firm held for becoming one as he felt he had gone as far as he could getting specific information about what the role entailed and what was holding him back. Thus, he wanted a coach to get a more informed view. Managing Director is a significant step and can be last stop that crowns a stellar career. It is often akin to partner, that is both people and client leadership responsibility and the associated compensation, but without the ownership responsibility. Firms are apprenticeships who value those entering at the bottom rung who have the highest perceived future value. They are sponsored and mentored their entire careers toward being an integral part of the engine of financial growth at their firms. Those who put “the interests of the firm ahead of their own needs” are more aligned with the partners of the firm and, “the higher the odds that it will achieve its objectives over time.”[1]
Like most people who engage in coaching sponsored by their organization, Jim engaged in a 360-feedback process, including accompanying this with personality data gleaned from an assessment matched to his needs. Jim chose over a dozen of his constituents for me to interview and participated in learning about himself through a personality inventory. The results highlighted that he was technically brilliant but was challenged by low self-awareness, other-awareness, and an intensely competitive personality. He also struggled to accept these insights as I held up the mirror of the prevailing data. Patterns emerged that made it obvious he was being held back by an oblivious insensitivity to others.
During the feedback gathering process, Jim was cited by a managing partner as being a poor collaborator and a terrible people manager – two well regarded scientists had left the firm while working on his teams. Jim had a voracious competitiveness that led to an ignorant approach to leadership with an inability to see shades of grey when situations were not binary. Through my several interviews with his constituents, the picture was clear – he was a brilliant individual contributor who could solve problems that discouraged others and was a strong advocate for groups and teams, but individuals worked in fear of his condescending and intimidating style. The feedback was emphatic and specific, but Jim was unable to see himself as others saw him. Even when the mirror was held up with verbatim quotes that described his affect, he denied his behavior had anything to do with not being promoted. “Yes, but…” was a frequent interjection in our conversations. He was issued an interview report of over 20 pages but could not cross the bridge between how others saw him and how he saw himself. The promotion was not rendered, and Jim remained frustrated and declined further coaching feeling the problem lay elsewhere. His technical success and promotability was undermined by his abrasiveness and lack of self-awareness but more impactfully, Jim was held back from evolving by a mindset of resistance and defensiveness. Until he could accept the need for both change and for help with those changes, he was a prisoner of his own making.
Lesson two: Baptism by fire - Epiphany (Tom, part one)
When the legal office of a company reaches out to a coach it’s often because there’s an imminent “save” situation. In baseball, a save is awarded to the relief pitcher who finishes a game for the winning team. Tom is typical of someone an organization determines is worth the save. These people are often known for their rainmaking or technical skill. Tom fit the bill; he was a brilliant technician and a client favorite, but had a formal complaint registered against him from a chronic complainer. This frequent flyer of complaints had Tom in their cross hairs. There was a measure of truth in the accusations, but they were greatly inflated. He knew his part in the situation was not egregious, but that the firm needed to go through the investigation process all the same. When I met Thom, he was defensive and confused, with our conversations circling around the theme “nobody understands me.” No one doubted he was smart, but as well as his complaint woes, his colleagues had tired of him telling them about his acumen and expertise. His orientation toward coaching was definitely in the begrudging box. He was in a change or die situation - if the investigation swung the wrong way, his job could be on the line. His fear about the charges was real and palpable, and he had already lost real money over the situation which drove his, albeit reluctant, willingness to be coached. His fear got him past his defensiveness.
As his coach, I performed interviews and a personality data assessment. The report from the interviews were scathing - Tom was leaving trails of bruised people in his wake. He was tone deaf to anyone trying to give him feedback in the usual channels, and he didn’t understand that his impact did not match his intentions.
We started the process by absorbing the results of the personality assessment. Among the many insights came from data that showed he had little patience or tact, and importantly that he had little self-respect. One quote from the interviews that resonated with him and helped him see the impact he was having on others was that he was an “egomaniac with an inferiority complex.” The technician in him loved that the assessment gave him raw data about himself over a broad spectrum of traits. As an expert in certain aspects of computer science, he needed data – real, raw, data – about himself. Thus, the objective assessment information combined with the subjective interview opinions was the perfect combination for a reflective person to try and understand his situation. The data helped him understand why he was being mis-perceived which catalyzed his willingness to change. He courageously spoke with and thanked his constituents who participated in the interviews. Then we went to work. With the right mix of data, discussion, reflection, and coaching, he was able to understand the root causes of his issues and set the intentions and mitigation plan to become the leader he always had the potential to be.
Lesson three: Delighting in the realizations of progress
I had been subcontracting with a professional services organization for many years when one of its own leaders, Elizabeth, reached out to me for coaching. She had been in a variety of leadership roles – an office leadership role where she was responsible for market development as well as staff morale, and a global functional leadership role that landed her on the executive leadership team. And while she was successful in both roles, she’d realized that the internal focus of each were de-energizing for her, and she wanted to go back to client services. However, she still viewed herself as a leader and wanted to continue leading within the organization. So the question became, “Where and how are you a leader without a formal title as such?”
We agreed to have her complete my preferred assessment, and the results held up a mirror that debunked her notion of what it meant to be a thought leader (which to her had always been writing and publishing). The assessment showed she had inordinate skill as a thought leader in conversations. Reflecting on this data and processing it through our coaching discussions opened up a new possibility for Elizabeth that she hadn’t seen for herself – that her skill and expertise was better expressed through dialogue, not the written word. For Elizabeth, data made this legitimate.
With this new insight into her own preferences and how those were more effectively expressed in her work to enable high impact, Elizabeth also reflected on what parts of the work were energizing for her. Using those energizers catalyzed her to shape a new service for her organization to provide clients. She recognized that she could lead through the work without a formal job title and became one of the highest producing professionals in her organization, coaching and growing others to do the work alongside her, and building strong relationships in the market. These combined allowed her to progress her career past a traditional path in her current organization.
As Elizabeth continued flexing these new muscles and deepening this freshly realized skill set by applying them in new contexts, the culture and work of her current organization was shifting. She wanted to pursue deep advisory relationships with her clients, but the organization was moving toward lower cost and higher volume work. Our work together gave her the confidence to chase and retain the advisory work and believe that she could go beyond being a “big fish in a small pond.” She left that organization and was able to represent herself as a thought leader capable of strategically advising clients, and as a result landed a C-level role at a large professional services firm. The coaching process helped Elizabeth reframe her strengths which unlocked new possibilities, and ultimately served as jet fuel to propel her career forward.
Lesson 4: Transformation (Tom – part 2)
Changes for Tom came fast and furious as he applied himself to our coaching strategy. He had become a leader who was finally realizing his full potential, albeit after several years of hard work and revelations. He had transformed. And his firm was recognizing the change. He was asked to take on a larger, more significant leadership role which not only resulted in his family relocating but also made him financially whole after the consequences of his earlier behavioral difficulties.
Part of his new role involved mentoring, coaching, and sponsoring others – both those that had cresting leadership potential, as well as those who were encountering potholes in their careers. His intense personal journey became a rock-solid foundation for him to help others. The power of his pain and his success had forged into zeal. Formally, a real part of his job was to invest time and energy in others’ success. And now, he had real tools, real stories, and the unique power that comes from living the journey from confusion and hard realities to growth and success, both personally and professionally, to enhance his coaching. It was palpable.
Over the final decade of his career Tom sponsored over a dozen people into partnership at his firm. He became beloved as a coach and mentor. People who had originally reported in interviews how difficult he was, how self-important was his affect, sought him out for advice now, and humility actually became part of his brand. And in his last two years before retirement, he studied, engaged in a formal program, and became a certified executive coach himself. He plans to spend time during his retirement continuing his passion through coaching others.
Lesson 5: Propagation
What happens when someone who is coached elevates into a position of influence and their impact becomes exponential? That is John’s story. Eight years ago, I got a call from a client asking if I’d consider coaching a doctor with whom they have a long-standing relationship. He had experienced a major physical change resulting from an accident that was life altering. He was physically, mentally, and spiritually challenged by that significant event. As would be expected with such a dramatic trauma, the event forged a dark night of the soul followed by epiphanies. Some presents come very poorly wrapped! As the doctor emerged from a period of deep reflection and acceptance of his new physical realities, there were stirrings of new avenues where he could flex his professional muscles that would complement his existing practice of medicine. He is an exquisite surgeon and continues going forward accordingly, but as he grew, he wanted to engage a coach to continue to make sense of how he was changing professionally. Coaching was about both integrating new professional experiences, and continuing to thrive within an already stellar career. As part of his epiphany, he wanted to create new opportunities to move young doctors forward in their acumen and especially their leadership.
John’s background lent itself to help in a big way. He was grounded in leadership development because he graduated from a renowned service academy, rich in leadership education and tradition. His mentor was a luminary both in medicine and in extraordinary humanitarian service. In this new part of his new professional life, he was driven to very actively bring leadership education at medical schools to the fore. A compelling mission that required yeoman’s work as well as nuanced competencies in fund raising, institutional politics, motivation, and structure to bring it all together. Coaching over the years has been squarely in the Transformational Growth category with occasional forays into the Total Engagement box of our model when it was called for to work through specific situational projects and opportunities.
The leadership program he spearheads is uniquely successful, having trained and graduated scores of medical trainees of all stripes – from students to interns to fellows. The program now also includes adjunct professionals such as physical therapists and nurses. They have all become stronger, more nuanced leaders due to their participation in the leadership program. The charge of these medical leaders is to bring new leadership “bones” to their home institutions and every future situation in which they work and lead, thus extending John’s reach far beyond the practice of medicine. It is extending medical leadership into the future and into what we now know, more viscerally than ever, as a changing, shifting world that needs the most effective doctors and the most effective leaders. Coaching has been part of John’s ongoing journey to deliver on this mission.
How to make the most of executive coaching
We hope that this exploration has piqued your interest in enlisting an executive coach to help you explore your potential and advance your career. As you begin your coaching journey here are our suggestions for how to maximize the experience:
- Expect the coach to help you reflect, not give you direction or advice. If you go into the relationship understanding that an executive coach’s job is to support your own self-discovery you’ll walk out of the engagement with much more progress and satisfaction. And if you really want the coach’s advice, ask for it! They may not give it to you, though often you’ll hear examples of what other coaching clients of theirs have done in similar situations, and sometimes that’s all you need to help you come to your own decision about what you’d like to try next.
- Data is key. Make sure your executive coach is going to help you gather some solid information that can give you insights into when and how you’re at your best…and not. Assessments are not the only kind of data. You and your coach may decide to get more subjective information by having the coach engage in interviews about you. They will ask people you choose about what you do well, where are the potholes you fall into, what is your brand, how do you work with teams, and what piece of unvarnished advice might be proffered.
- Finally, your mindset matters. If you are feeling coerced into a coaching relationship and frustrated about your situation, pause and ask yourself honestly about both what might be the source of your discomfort and also what might be possible if coaching were successful for you. Courage is key. Being open to a coaching process performed by a relative stranger can be daunting. But if you can turn your mindset into one that is willing to learn from the experience and exploration, you might be surprised about what you discover and where it takes you!
[1] “Aligning the Stars” Jay w. Lorsch, Thomas J. Tierney, Harvard Business School Press, Pg 21
[1] “When your Foundations Move, The Three Crucial Transitions in Life and Career” C. Michael Thompson, pg. 55
“The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling,” (New York: Random House, 1996, 6, 135.
[1] Evered, R. D., & Selman, J. C. (1989). Coaching and the art of management. Organizational Dynamics, 18(2), 16-32.
[2] Albrecht, K (1983). Organization Development: A total systems approach to positive change in any business organization. New Jersey: Prentice-Hall.
[3] Grieves, J. (2003). Strategic human resource development. London: Sage.
[4] ICF 2020 Global Coaching Study: Executive Summary
[5] Dyrbye, LN, Shanafelt, TD, Gill, PR, Satele, DV, & West, CP. (2019). Effect of a professional coaching intervention on the well-being and distress of physicians: a pilot randomized clinical trial. JAMA Internal Medicine, 179(10), 1406-1414